The ante always has to be upped

[OGSB]

Lawnmower Parents Are the New Helicopter Parents & We Are Not Here for It

Lawnmower parents go to whatever lengths necessary to prevent their child from having to face adversity, struggle, or failure.

Instead of preparing children for challenges, they mow obstacles down so kids won’t experience them in the first place.

[PeteRasche]

I think the reason this is happening is it's easier on the parent than dealing with an upset kid. That's why this generation does it - they've been so neutered in terms of parenting that it's just easier. In prior generations the kids were either ignored, or strongly disciplined (spanking, dad's belt, a switch, whatever). Look at the example in the story about the water bottle; in the past, when the girl got home, she wouldn't dare talk back to her parents about the difficulty she faced not having her favorite water bottle. These days, with no fear of corporal punishment (or even a knowledge she'd be ignored), she's gonna make it hell on her parents when she gets home. And since parents can't do anything about it anymore, the parent has to put up with it. Basically, all power has been given to the kid - that's what our society has created. So parents just find it easier to go out of their way to make the kids happy... "anything to shut them up".

[gerryb323]

We've talked about this, but I think there's also the backlash from the "everybody gets a trophy" generation reaching child bearing age and wanting to push back against the mentality. I know my wife and I (3 very little kids now) have discussed letting them deal with their own stuff as much as possible. If it isn't dangerous, let them learn from their mistakes. Etc. I think the older millennials are tired of being labeled as snowflakes and helicopter parents and such. Of course every generation thinks they are doing it "better" than their parents and the "right way".

[PeteRasche]

Agree gerry. To be clear, when I say "generation", I really mean "parents who currently have kids in the house". That still spans Gen X as well as Millennials. I'm Gen X and I am still subject to the behavioral/parenting "limits and expectations" that society has adopted today. I'm not blaming a specific age bracket, it's the world we have created through a combination of political correctness, social media shaming (things going viral), and everyone having a video camera handy to catch everything.

Kid acting up in a store? I vividly remember my mom threatening me that she'd "pull my pants down and spank my bare bottom" right there in the aisle. Think I misbehaved again? (Hell no!) I'm sure she had no intention of doing it, but I at least had the fear she might. But if you were even overheard saying that to a kid today, someone would have it on camera and you'd get reported to CFS. Or if not that, the kid goes to school, makes a comment about it, the teacher overhears it, and you're called to the school to meet with the teacher, principal, and counselor. That's the world we've made.

So parents are going out of their way to just not "have to deal".

[Johnny Mac]

Thanks for posting this, as I now have an article to base my scathing letter to my daughter's school's board of trustees...

Background: the 6th graders at my daughter's school raise funds every year by hosting "pizza Friday".. they buy big pies from one of the local pizza shops and sell it by the slice. Parents can come and have lunch with the kids on Friday and also buy some pizza. They also sell juice and water. Well, being 2018, you have a bunch of people with dietary restrictions... mostly gluten, some gluten and dairy.. so pizza is out of the question. So, in the past, those parents have generally gone and picked up gluten free pizzas, sushi, or whatever meets the dietary restrictions of their children.. .mostly from restaurants near the campus. Well this year, the administration has banned outside food on Fridays. The rationale is the 6th graders were getting sad that so many people weren't buying pizza from them.. so the administration took the lawnmower approach and unilaterally banned all outside food.

Now mind you, the kids all bring food from home Monday through Thursday anyway. Well, the administration said "you can do the same on Fridays now, if you cannot or are unwilling to buy pizza." This in essence tells these kids "well since you have a dietary problem with pizza, you can't have a treat on Friday like the other, NORMAL kids can." This concept is completely opposite of the "Montessori" inclusive mentality. The lawnmower parent aspect of shutting down any "competition" is also anti Montessori.. as the correct, Montessori way of doing things would have been 1) sit down with the 6th graders and have them figure out why people were bringing outside food and 2) making the appropriate adjustments to win back that "lost business". The obvious solution would be to start selling gluten free pizza slices along with regular. But the administration went full lawnmower rather than offering a "teachable moment" for these kids.

I was going to bring Chick fil A to my daughter yesterday (they actually canceled school because of Florence.. despite the fact it was nowhere near us), and if they said something to me I was going to remind them that I have around 12,000 reasons (our annual tuition bill) why they can go fk themselves (and that would have been my actual quote).

[gerryb323]

Is gluten sensitivity the new ADD? I fully understand that ADD/ADHD and Celiac's disease are actually things, but when I was in high school it seemed like every other kid had Ritalin or whatever prescribed by a doctor. Like that, the incidence of "gluten sensitivity" can't be nearly as high as people say it is. How about "bread is empty calories with little to no nutritional value and I don't want my kids eating it"? Seems more intellectually honest anyway.

[gerryb323]

I like the curling analogy too:

Other variations of this style of parenting include “Snowplow Parents,” “Bulldozer Parents,” and my personal favorite: “Curling Parents,” given the similarity to the Olympic athletes who scurry ahead of the gently thrown stone, frantically brushing a smooth path and guiding the stone towards an exact pre-determined location

.
From the article linked in the above article: https://pittsburgh.citymomsblog.com/mom ... er-parent/

[tulaneoutlaw]

The last medical paper on the gluten issue I saw was out of Australia. Some of the same researchers that had helped identify Celiac's as a disorder were looking into the idea of different levels of gluten allergy. Basically they found that you either were gluten allergic or you weren't. The idea of having a gluten "sensitivity" didn't really have any medical basis. My speculation is that many people who stop eating gluten feel better because they are eating a lot less processed garbage and a lot more fruits and veggies and the like. I'm not a medical professional, though so that's just my own personal opinion.

[gerryb323]

My speculation is that many people who stop eating gluten feel better because they are eating a lot less processed garbage and a lot more fruits and veggies and the like. I'm not a medical professional, though so that's just my own personal opinion.

I agree with this. Whenever we decide to go no carbs for a while I feel better. But I don't claim to be gluten sensitive. I love beer

[windywave]

Is gluten sensitivity the new ADD? I fully understand that ADD/ADHD and Celiac's disease are actually things, but when I was in high school it seemed like every other kid had Ritalin or whatever prescribed by a doctor. Like that, the incidence of "gluten sensitivity" can't be nearly as high as people say it is. How about "bread is empty calories with little to no nutritional value and I don't want my kids eating it"? Seems more intellectually honest anyway.

I keep gluten free. Not my problem. Not my problem because your husband confirmed you don't have Celica disease and i have been cooking all frick day for ALL my guests.... later see her wolfing down gluten like she's a marathon runner. (Do have a friend who actually has Celiac disease so I cook appropriately for her since I'm not a monster) but "allergic" to everything else, frick'em

[Johnny Mac]

My speculation is that many people who stop eating gluten feel better because they are eating a lot less processed garbage and a lot more fruits and veggies and the like. I'm not a medical professional, though so that's just my own personal opinion.

I agree with this. Whenever we decide to go no carbs for a while I feel better. But I don't claim to be gluten sensitive. I love beer

Gerry, there are studies that reduced gluten in kids helps with concentration.. we took our daughter off gluten for a bit and it helped.. now we split about 50/50 with gluten and no gluten.. my wife doesn't have Celiac but a very strong wheat allergy.. so she may as well have Celiac. I have adjusted a lot of my cooking to reduce gluten including making my oatmeal pancakes, chicken parm, chicken fingers, lasagna, meatballs and gravy gluten free (among many other dishes). I make a roux with all purpose gluten free flower and it works!!

Back to my issue ... lot of the "gluten free" people have kids at my daughter's school that are on or are close to being on the spectrum... there are a couple of borderline Asperger's kids at the school. A couple of them are casein free as well.

The bottom line is the school preaches being "inclusive" but they just "excluded" kids with dietary issues because it interferes with the 6th graders raising money by selling pizza... they also have the kids express their feelings and work things out.. but never spoke to the kids (and asked them how they feel about it) who would be excluded from eating a "treat" lunch with their parents on Friday before making the unilateral decision to ban it. They missed a huge teachable moment for this school's "business" to adjust their model to actually increase their sales by going full lawnmower.

[TUPF]

Thanks guys for giving me a whole new vocabulary! I think I like lawnmower and curling the best. So true.

I ask folks to elucidate when I hear the umpteenth “I’m allergic to xxx” declaration. You see, I am allergic to venom stings like wasps, hornets, etc. So allergic that I in fact I have almost died twice from a single wasp sting. AOSig would know it as a full blown anaphylactic reaction: face and neck blows up like a bulllfrog in 5 minutes, unconscious in ten, epinephrine pens buy me a few minutes while dialing 9-1-1. One never wants to hear “wow, I’ve only heard of this in med school” from the ER resident. 48 hours in ICU on IV adrenaline followed by a week on steroids. So when I hear that allergy claim about some food giving you the trots or a little throat scratchiness I think you are talking about a sensitivity. If you have a real peanut allergy you cannot be within smelling distance without risking death.

[Roller]

Is gluten sensitivity the new ADD? I fully understand that ADD/ADHD and Celiac's disease are actually things, but when I was in high school it seemed like every other kid had Ritalin or whatever prescribed by a doctor. Like that, the incidence of "gluten sensitivity" can't be nearly as high as people say it is. How about "bread is empty calories with little to no nutritional value and I don't want my kids eating it"? Seems more intellectually honest anyway.

In the 60's it was malformed ankles (or something)--many infants were subjected to having their legs encased in casts to "straighten out their bones and enable their feet to develop properly. Many even had casts from waist to toe with a metal bar spreading their legs at about a 60º angle. They were everywhere.
Parental fear is a strange thing, and my mother always blamed Benjamin Spock for turning parents into idiots.

[OGSB]

Is gluten sensitivity the new ADD? I fully understand that ADD/ADHD and Celiac's disease are actually things, but when I was in high school it seemed like every other kid had Ritalin or whatever prescribed by a doctor. Like that, the incidence of "gluten sensitivity" can't be nearly as high as people say it is. How about "bread is empty calories with little to no nutritional value and I don't want my kids eating it"? Seems more intellectually honest anyway.

In the 60's it was malformed ankles (or something)--many infants were subjected to having their legs encased in casts to "straighten out their bones and enable their feet to develop properly. Many even had casts from waist to toe with a metal bar spreading their legs at about a 60º angle. They were everywhere.
Parental fear is a strange thing, and my mother always blamed Benjamin Spock for turning parents into idiots.

“Experts”. The ones from yesterday were crazy but we all listen to the ones today.

[TUPF]

Is gluten sensitivity the new ADD? I fully understand that ADD/ADHD and Celiac's disease are actually things, but when I was in high school it seemed like every other kid had Ritalin or whatever prescribed by a doctor. Like that, the incidence of "gluten sensitivity" can't be nearly as high as people say it is. How about "bread is empty calories with little to no nutritional value and I don't want my kids eating it"? Seems more intellectually honest anyway.

In the 60's it was malformed ankles (or something)--many infants were subjected to having their legs encased in casts to "straighten out their bones and enable their feet to develop properly. Many even had casts from waist to toe with a metal bar spreading their legs at about a 60º angle. They were everywhere.
Parental fear is a strange thing, and my mother always blamed Benjamin Spock for turning parents into idiots.

“Experts”. The ones from yesterday were crazy but we all listen to the ones today.

I personally liked the photos of cages hanging outside of apartment buildings to air out one’s toddlers.

[PeteRasche]

“Experts”. The ones from yesterday were crazy but we all listen to the ones today.

The spread between my oldest and my sister-in-law's is about 20 years. In between, she had another and my wife's other sister had two. Between those periods, doctors flip-flopped on whether babies should sleep on their belly, side, or back multiple times. Guess what? All 6 cousins (their 2 and 2, my 2) are fine. Experts....

[gerryb323]

“Experts”. The ones from yesterday were crazy but we all listen to the ones today.

The spread between my oldest and my sister-in-law's is about 20 years. In between, she had another and my wife's other sister had two. Between those periods, doctors flip-flopped on whether babies should sleep on their belly, side, or back multiple times. Guess what? All 6 cousins (their 2 and 2, my 2) are fine. Experts....

Well odds are odds. All the old guys on here made it through the no seat belt days. But some who could be old did not

[ml wave]

“Experts”. The ones from yesterday were crazy but we all listen to the ones today.

The spread between my oldest and my sister-in-law's is about 20 years. In between, she had another and my wife's other sister had two. Between those periods, doctors flip-flopped on whether babies should sleep on their belly, side, or back multiple times. Guess what? All 6 cousins (their 2 and 2, my 2) are fine. Experts....

Well odds are odds. All the old guys on here made it through the no seat belt days. But some who could be old did not

Survivor bias

[windywave]

“Experts”. The ones from yesterday were crazy but we all listen to the ones today.

The spread between my oldest and my sister-in-law's is about 20 years. In between, she had another and my wife's other sister had two. Between those periods, doctors flip-flopped on whether babies should sleep on their belly, side, or back multiple times. Guess what? All 6 cousins (their 2 and 2, my 2) are fine. Experts....

Well odds are odds. All the old guys on here made it through the no seat belt days. But some who could be old did not

Did chariots have seat belts? Paging Roller

[Roller]

“Experts”. The ones from yesterday were crazy but we all listen to the ones today.

The spread between my oldest and my sister-in-law's is about 20 years. In between, she had another and my wife's other sister had two. Between those periods, doctors flip-flopped on whether babies should sleep on their belly, side, or back multiple times. Guess what? All 6 cousins (their 2 and 2, my 2) are fine. Experts....

Well odds are odds. All the old guys on here made it through the no seat belt days. But some who could be old did not

Did chariots have seat belts? Paging Roller

Mine had them, but I didn't use them, because I'd get motion sickness when I confined myself.

[gerryb323]

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/next/body/ ... d=58006742

[windywave]

http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/nova/next/body/unless-you-have-celiac-disease-gluten-sensitivity-is-probably-just-in-your-head/?utm_source=FBPAGE&utm_medium=social&utm_term=20181012&utm_content=1824759243&utm_campaign=NOVA+Next&linkId=58006742

Oh this is getting forwarded